When there seems to be no hope, look deeper
by xxvivixxluvsxxvampsxx
Summary: When bella is troubled, has had a troubeled life with many priblems. she moved back to her home town with her brither emmet and father charlie. leaving her 2 best friends behind. can she find herself again? full summary inside normal pairings.
1. First day of school

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight characters.. Too bad ):

Summary: When Bella has gone through a life of pain, she pushes everybody else away. Because she feels like she only hurts those who are close to her. She moves back to her home town when something happens in the town she was living in. and she will find friendship… true friendship.. Her brother who she's missed forever. She will find her family history that her mother Renee has been hiding from her for years. She will also find herself. She will find love. And hopefully… the solutions to her problems.

When there seems to be no hope, look deeper

As I drove my ford mustang (picture on my profile.!) into town I felt very excited to be able to see my brother Emmet… but not under these circumstances. Charlie, my father, knew I was coming put hasn't told my brother Emmet at all. Emmet and I are twins... so I don't know if he even remembers me at all. The last time I saw him was when we were both 5. But I hope he likes who I am... it's whatever if he don't like me then he don't like me. It's all up to him.

I left all of my friends in Florida... But I can still txt them. And talk to them, but it's just not the same as hanging out with them... I just hope that they don't forget me. I have millions of tattoos & piercings, some think I'm a freak & what not... but I don't care it's who I am & honestly I love it.

As I pulled my car into the driveway I've noticed that the lawn was noticed and that the house has been painted, but a long time ago because the paint looked old, but not so old that it was coming off.

Charlie came out side hugged me, led me up to my room... said his hello. I guess Emmet doesn't know that I was coming here… Charlie didn't tell him. Oh well.

I just unpacked my stuff for tomorrow and took a shower and went to bed. I woke up the next morning, noticed that my hair was a mess. I straitened it; put my eye liner on really dark. I got dressed in my electric blue skinny jeans, my skull studded belt, and my DotDotCurve:) shirt, and my knee high converse. I grabbed my bat- man hat, my bag, my phone and went down the stairs.

"Emmet stayed over at a friend's last night. I won't be home until late tonight, tell Emmet and the rest of the family." Charlie told me when I came down the stairs.

"Uhm… the rest of the family?"

"You'll understand after you meet the other people, well I'm off. See ya later kiddo." and off he went… I went outside, got into my car and drove off.

When I first got to the school, I went to the office got my schedule and went to the cafeteria. When I opened the door everybody stopped and acted like I was the plague.. Haha I think I might have fun with this.

I folded up my schedule and put it into my pocket and there was this one girly chick who kept on looking at me so I walked towards her, then she started to look uneasy so I jumped a little bit and yelled "BOO!" she got a bit scared and ran away. Then I heard a booming laugh. Huh.. That's a bit different, I've never heard a laugh that loud before… oh well then I kept on walking.

I looked at my schedule and saw that I had to first go to gym class, ohh what fun. I really hate gym class… but lucky for me I didn't have to participate because it was my first day but I did have to bring gym clothes tomorrow and he gave me a paper to sign… hummm…. okay then. So I just sat down and I got some pretty nasty looks from everybody.. Except from this one girl, who was very gorgeous. And it surprised me that she wasn't a part of the preppy group.. Or maybe she was but she just wasn't a bitch. Hummm I don't know and don't really want to think about it too much.

My next class was computer class so I went into that class, today was just a "catch –up day" for everybody, so I just took my drawing journal out and started to draw. Then the bell rang again, and the next class I had was social studies.. I sat in the back, and I like the teacher. She didn't judge me. The bell rang , I went to science. Same thing for that class, except for I didn't like that teacher. Then I went to choir, same thing for art, and language arts. Thank you! I'm actually hungry today. And its stuffed crust pizza. Yeses. I got my lunch and sat at a table in the very back. Then a whole bunch of kids sat with me.. Then the last person to attend the table had to pull an extra chair up. Hum… sucks to be him.. He was kind of cute though. Haha.

Then everybody else sat down… the big guy kept on looking at me, like I should know him then when I made eye contact with him he had a smile on his face and hope in his eyes. He must have seen the question in mine though.. Because he looked away. I wasn't really paying attention to the conversation at the table though because I was listening to my mp3 player, and funny enough none of the teachers had busted me for it yet. And then I started to look around and noticed that everybody, or mostly everybody in the cafeteria was staring at me.. Did I miss something? Hum… ohh well. Then the bell went off.

Then I went to math, and study hall and when the bell rang at the end of the day.. I was so happy to get out of there. I hate school. But then again who doesn't?

As I walked out of the school building, I saw everybody from my lunch table surrounding my car. And I heard the big guys next 4 words, because I shut my mp3 player off for two reasons.

The battery was dying.

And

I listen to the radio when I drive.

So the big guys' next words were…

"Why hello there sis."

Hummm….. I guess he did remember me.. And I guess he did say something at lunch.. Ohh well. Life's a bitch.


	2. I dont believe you

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight characters... Too bad ):

Summary: When Bella has gone through a life of pain, she pushes everybody else away. Because she feels like she only hurts those who are close to her. She moves back to her home town when something happens in the town she was living in. and she will find friendship… true friendship... Her brother who she's missed forever. She will find her family history that her mother Renee has been hiding from her for years. She will also find herself. She will find love. And hopefully… the solutions to her problems

When there seems to be no hope, look deeper

Chapter 2

Huh… so Emmet did remember me. Well that's good. I really did miss him, after my mom's death I decided that I would live with my best friend… I was like a second child… or third child to her parents. I heard from my cousin that Emmet was at the funeral and that he called me a bitch and a skank and what not… because I wasn't there at the funeral. Well I have my reasons. And because of what he did at the funeral… I am going to act like he doesn't matter to me.

SO I said hello to him too, and walked on and got into my car. Everybody had a look of shock… except for blondie... her look was of anger... And Emmet's was understandment.

I pulled out of the parking lot and drove… to the house im staying at. I cant call it home.. I didn't even call florida home.. the only place I have ever called home was when I stayed with Lauren. oh god how I miss her… when she heard that I was moving away from forks… her and her parents moved to florida with me and renee. then we met tyler and the three of us became best friends. but we all have changed we used to be the preppy kids.. now we're the freaky kids… ohh how I love it!.

I pulled into the driveway got my stuff and walked into the house and up the stairs to my room. I put all of my stuff on my bed and then went back down stairs and opened the fridge. then I squealed and jumped a little bit. its been a long time since ive down that… hummm, I must like it here.

then I heard a chuckle turned around and saw Emmet was right there… ohh great. I got the chocolate milk, poured me a glass and put it back Into the fridge. then I just stood there leaning against the counter and drinking my milk.

then I noticed that everybody else was in here too… its already a small kitchen so I started to feel a bit crowded. then emmet cleared his throat.

"uhm, can I ask you a question?"

"didn't really give much of a choice there now, did ya? but yeah sure."

"okay… uhm, why do you hate me?"

"oh Em. I don't hate you."

"don't lie to me, goddamn it! just tell me … what did I do wrong?"

"I just told you I don't hate you."

"Then how come you didn't go to mom's funeral? How come you wouldn't answer me at lunch? How come you act like you could care less about me? How come…. you… you don't care?"

"well… I hate mom. honestly, I hated you to begin with. I thought you knew what she was doing but didn't want to do anything about it. I mean I know that I grew up with a whole bunch of money… but you had a better life than what I did. you have friends… I did too. you can play sports, you know how to deal with your issues. you have good looks. I wouldn't answer you at lunch because I was listening to my mp3 player. I acted like I don't care because I thought you didn't care so I just returned the feeling. and again I do care… I was just returning the feeling. and I thought you said only 1 question? haha."

then he just stared at me. "why do you hate mom? she did nothing wrong to you. or anybody else, she is harmless."

"really Emmet? she has you brain washed. why do you think that dad always faught to get custody of me? and I wanted him to… but honestly everytime we went to court I prayed and I hoped that he wouldn't, I couldn't leave Lauren, tyler & tylor. I just couldn't emmet. so about 1 year before mom died I called dad and told him to stop trying… and I told him honestly. he started crying and I felt so bad for it. but it was worth it. because 1 month later. just 1 momth emmet. 4 fucking days later! I walked in on tyler.. not cousin tylor but my best friend Tyler Joseph Madison. I walked in on his dad nearly beating him to death. You want to know what I did? I went and jumped on his back. Then Tyler went and called the police. and I had a fractured jaw, was in the hospital. in a coma for a week. Tyler almost died. but it was worth it because tyler is stil alive to this day."

"so whats that have to do with that you hate mom?"

"Because how tyler's dad treated him is the exact way that mom treated me. and I didn't go to her funeral beca8use if I did I probably would have crashed the funeral and went around and told everybody that she abused her own child because… I was different."

"I don't believe you, she would never do anything like that."

"Yeah well, I never said that you had to. I was just answering your question."

then my phone started ringing, I looked at the caller id. it was tyler!

"hey, whats up bro.?"

" bro haha, I like the sound of that. and nothing much… seriously I miss you so much. me and lauren both does. we're going through with drawl."

"awhh! your sweet. and I miss you guys too. damn guess what?"

"what? should I be worried?"

"maybe…"

"well…? what happened god damn it!"

"jeez calm down already. well I just told emmet what happened… like how we got your dad put in jail. why I wasn't at my mothers funeral. why I hated him for a while. why I didn't want my dad to get custody of me. because he asked me some questions. and he said I don't believe you. then I was like yeah well, I never said you had to. I was just answering your questions."

"really? he don't fucking believe you? what an ass. but hey, im really sorry but I have to go."

"yeah okay buh- bye"

"love ya"

"yea, dido."


	3. Accepted

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight characters... Too bad ):

Summary: When Bella has gone through a life of pain, she pushes everybody else away. Because she feels like she only hurts those who are close to her. She moves back to her home town when something happens in the town she was living in. and she will find friendship… true friendship... Her brother who she's missed forever. She will find her family history that her mother Renee has been hiding from her for years. She will also find herself. She will find love. And hopefully… the solutions to her problems

When there seems to be no hope, look deeper

Chapter 3

Accepted

After the phone call with Tyler… or as Lauren and I call him Joey. We call him Joey because of his middle name Joseph, and that way he doesn't get confused with my cousin Tylor. Well after the phone call I went up to my room, plugged my mp3 player into my stereo and the song Alyssa Lies came one.

I was just sitting in bed and then my door opened. And I knew it was Emmet. I mean the music was so loud that everybody could hear it, and Charlie wasn't home yet. He came in and sat on my bed. I looked up at him and said "I miss her Em."

And tears started to roll down my face. They just wouldn't end.

"I know you do Bella, I didn't really know her… but there's sometimes that I miss her too."

"But…Em… it's my fault too. Everybody says that it's not… but it is."

"Hell if it is! You couldn't do anything… it's not your fault that you actually had a life. It's that fucker's fault that he did it."

"But, if I was home just a little bit more, I would have saw the signs!"

"Yea and what if you didn't? Or if you did what would you do then?"

"I don't know Emmet."

"Exactly, don't beat yourself up over it."

"Are you kidding yourself? Really? I can't just forget what Phil did to her! She was my baby sister! GODDAMN IT! I mean once he found out that she wasn't his… that's when it all started. And Renée wanted Alyssa to believe that it was normal so she started to beat on me whenever she had the chance. Only difference was, I could get away whenever I could… Alyssa was still an inphant."

"Izzy… I'm not asking you to forget. But what I am asking you to do is not to beat yourself up over it. Because they were clearly unfit parents. But what I'd like to know is why you hate rose so much."

"Hmmm?"

"Rose"

"Rose who?

"My girlfriend"

"DO you remember what Alyssa's full name is?"

"Not really…"

"It's Alyssa Rhondantha Swan"

"What's that gotta do with you hating my girl friend?"

"You know what Rhondantha means?"

"No. but again what's this gotta do with my Rosie?"

"Rhodatha means rose in Greek. So we called Alyssa rose. Alyssa had blonde hair & grey eyes. Just like your girl friend. And from what you've told me Em, your girlfriend went thru the same exact thing as my baby sister did. And from what makes this entire horrible horrible thing even better? Is that you introduced me to your girlfriend at her funeral."

"I'm so sorry Bella. It's just that rose just couldn't wait. She really wanted to meet you."

"But at my baby sisters funeral? Come on Emmet… ill try to do better… but I can't help it most the time. Especially whenever I'm round your girl friend."

I know I know."

"Okay… well can I show you something?"

He shook his head yes. So I turned around, lifted up my hair to show him my tattoo. It was Alyssa Rhodantha Swan a heart & then Rest in Peace Baby Sister.

And the top was her name then below that a heart then below that was the rest in peace. Right when I heard she was dead… I went to the closest bar and got drunk. And Joey took me to a tattoo parlor & got it done. I loved him for it and that got me addicted to the tattoos. Lauren on the other hand was pissed… because she wasn't with me when I got it done. But she soon got over it.

I turned around and Emmet said "I'll give you some time alone now, and I'll be downstairs. You can come down any moment. Do you want to go over to the Cullen's with us?"

"Uhm… no thank you…"

"Well that's too bad. You're going anyways."

That made me smile. I kinda wished he was the older brother that I've lived without for years. Joey was like my older brother whenever I needed one and he knew that I still needed Emmet. He didn't put it against me though. And for that I love him for very much. Lauren was my rock after Alyssa died. There were times when I randomly went over to her house balling my eyes out and she just hugged me and told me that everything would be okay. I, of course new that it wouldn't… but when your crying so hard that you can't even process a thought, you're willing to believe anything.

Emmet walked out of my room so I just went to my mirror and put some more foundation on and got my hoodie and put it on. Then I brushed my hair. & re-did my makeup. By that time I heard Emmet yell for me. So I went down stairs. But not before grabbing my phone & seeing that I got 20 texts… not exaggerating there.

I started walking down stairs and I opened the msgs & realized that most of them were from Joey & Lauren. Big surprise there. All of the texts they were both freaking out on me… so I sent one big msg & sent it to both of them. And it said.

Hey Lauren & Joey. dnt be freakin out on me… okay? I just listenin to Alyssa lies.. & long story short me & em had a very long tlk. turns out rose thnks I hate her, who woulda guessed? ahahah. well im headed over to one of his friends house for, god knos wat. em is forcing me. so dnt freak if I dnt answer. & im startin to rlly get scared yu guys… my walls are already startin to come down… wat do I do? luv ya very much.

And then I sent the msg. I looked up and noticed that everybody was still looking at me.  
Then Emmet spoke "well are we going or not? With a really big smile.

I realized that there are 2 more to their little group. Some dude named Edward & some chick named Alice. They're siblings. And Rosalie and jasper who are also siblings followed Emmet home because Rosalie wanted to be there for her boyfriend. But he didn't want them to ride together. Because he knew that we were going to the Cullen's afterwards. All of this was explained to me in the jeep on the way to the Cullen's house.

Pretty soon we were going down a driveway to a beautiful house. We all got out and everybody else started to lead the way to the house when we got over who was who and how my style was… different. Thanks to Tinkerbelle & Esme. Apparently Edward and I are exactly alike. I'll have to correct her on that one. Edward is obviously a male, and he obviously has muscle. I on the other hand... am a female & don't have that much muscle on me. What a smart ass… I know, you don't have to tell me.

"Come on Bella lets go play some video game"

Then Rosalie said "Em, come on… I'm sure she'd rather not. And she just got here yesterday. Give the girl a break."

"Haha, actually Rosalie its fine. Whenever I would hang out with Joey we would just sit around all day & play video games. "Ahh… those were the days."

"Ohh… and what would you do when you hung out with your other friends?"

"Haha you mean Lauren? We just hung around, talked. Well I lived with her for the past couple years or so… so we pretty much hang out every weekend haha."

I looked at Emmet and said "what game you wanna play?"

His facial expression was priceless. We ended up playing some racing game. I ended up winning 7 out of ten. Emmet pouted an ill bit. I just told him to suck it up. And then there was Rosalie… she looked so scared of me, that I actually felt bad. I mean it's not exactly her fault, you know wanting to meet her lover's very different very weird sibling. She got curious and wanted to meet me. Hell I would have done the same thing.

Then before we knew it, it was time to go home… I was a bit sad. I kind of liked it. It felt good to not be so uptight. I took a shower and went to bed. Awaiting the weekend that started tomorrow. I couldn't wait. I actually felt like I was accepted here, all thanks to Emmet. You just gotta love your siblings, and drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face. That night my dreams were filled of nothing but my little baby sister.

**Did you like it? hate it? think that I should do something different in my next chapter? any ideas for my next chapter?**

**tell me, review. thanks! (: love ya guys, Vivi**


	4. Nightmares feel so real

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight characters... Too bad ):

Summary: When Bella has gone through a life of pain, she pushes everybody else away. Because she feels like she only hurts those who are close to her. She moves back to her home town when something happens in the town she was living in. and she will find friendship… true friendship... Her brother who she's missed forever. She will find her family history that her mother Renee has been hiding from her for years. She will also find herself. She will find love. And hopefully… the solutions to her problems

I walked through the door and saw my lil' baby sister. Ah... so beautiful. She is the only link I have of my dad and Emmet anymore. I miss them so much. But I cannot go back. Not anymore. I have to protect Joey...  
"hey there sweetheart, how was yur day?"

"Daddy was being mean to me again Izzy"

"How's that Rosie? What he do?"

She wouldn't answer me. But was getting tired, so I had put her to sleep I saw bruises on her knees but just thought she fell when she was playing outside today. I saw as she had fallen asleep. And didn't know that, that was the last time I would see her. I kissed her forehead and tucked her in. then I took a walk. When I had came back inside the scene before my eyes... was unbearable. It was Rosie...on the ground. Motionless. No sign of life... I should have listened to her... I should have done more.

I woke up in a burst of tears. I hate dreaming about her. But god I miss her so much, if I only had done something more to protect her... to keep her innocence. If I had seen the signs sooner maybe she'd still be with us. Maybe I would still have the old Renée maybe...just maybe I could have my old life... no that was asking too much and anyways I like who I am. I love to be different. It's who I am... it's who I will always be.

I got my adventure time shirt, my booty shorts, and my splatter paint belt. And got dressed, did my hair. Maybe I should die it blonde? I don't know. I need something different in my life. I had walked down stairs to get something to eat and about jumped when I saw that EVERYBODY was here... it was just oh my. And they were all looking at me.  
"Good morning? Everybody?"

"Sorry sis, we couldn't sleep so I just told everybody to come have a sleep over."

"Of course you did."

I got a granola bar and went in the living room and started watching cartoons.

I didn't realize who I was sitting beside 'till rose pointed it out.  
It was Edward... I looked at him and nearly jumped.  
Boy, Lauren was gonna be pissed...

I know it's a short chapter. but I think that it's good.  
if yu have any ideas for this story and any story ideas.. message me. and review if yu like this.. just tell me what yu think ! good and bad. I need to know if I'm doing good or bad? I love to write, but don't know if it's good.  
well love ya!  
Vivi (:


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